Friday Jokes

Weekend is a good time to have a few laughs. Some of them are old, but they are all funny. I hope you enjoy them!

~~~MADE IN CHINA~~~
A man went on a business to China and wanted to buy some gifts for his kids.
He went to a shop and found a nice looking CD player. Wary of buying inferior goods, he asked the shopkeeper, 'What would happen if this does not work?'

The shopkeeper quietly points to the only sign in English that reads, 'GUARANTEE NO SPOILT'. Feeling assured, he paid for the CD player and returns to his hotel. He tried to use the CD player after returning to the hotel but it would not even switch on.

He quickly return to the shop and asked for a refund or an exchange for another unit. When the shopkeeper refuse to give either, the man points to the sign assuring him of a guarantee. The shopkeeper then said, 'Brother, you are in China . We read from the right to the left.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~Kids are Quick~~~

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America .
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
CLASS: Maria.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
TEACHER: Greg, how would you spell "crocodile?"
GREG: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L
TEACHER: No Greg, that's incorrect.
GREG: Maybe it's incorrect, but you asked me how I spelled it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
TEACHER: Ryan, what is the chemical formula for water?
RYAN: H I J K L M N O
TEACHER: Ryan, what are you talking about?
RYAN: Well, yesterday you said it was H to O.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Alex, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
ALEX: Because George still had the axe in his hand.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
TEACHER: Now, Macy, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
MACY: No Ma'am, I don't have to. My mom is a good cook.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
TEACHER: Daniel, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's composition. Did you copy off of him?
DANIEL: No teacher, it's the same dog.